I finally graduated from university and although my bank account balance is low, I feel ready to see more, do more, and, be more.
Like many fresh graduates, I have been thinking a lot about where I’m going in life and how to get there. I’d like to think a lot of my age mates have had similar bouts of self-reflection and doubts unless they have solid footing–which I do not.
Ah, yes, the reason for this post.
Have you ever been spat on by a bus conductor while he requested ’50 shillings’ from each passenger? Have you had to run in the middle of winter to catch the tram that stops in front of Cite Universite in Paris because the next one will surely make you late? Have you ever had to manoeuvre the south of Spain with a paper map like the old days because you had your phone stolen? If not, this blog post is dedicated to you.
The first time I had my phone stolen right from my pocket (in the middle of my Hamilton playlist) I felt defeated. It sounds dramatic but I bought that phone with my hard-earned cash and had decided to keep it until I reached twenty-five. I was nineteen at the time. After I lost it to some people who never even turned it on, I decided against buying a makeshift phone. According to my logic at the time, what’s the point of spending money on something that had no access to Instagram?
Thus, began my three-month journey without a phone; a journey of reconnecting with myself and the strangers next to me.
It was actually easier than I describe it—navigating Europe alone and without a phone. All I needed was a map and some common sense–both of which I had in abundance at the time. Now, not so much.
This blog post is about transportation and so I will talk about one particular bus ride that made me feel.
I was travelling from Gdansk in Poland to Warsaw alone during the winter. At the crack of dawn, I opened my eyes to a sea of white. It was snowing more than I had ever seen. The snow was clean and white–just like the love stories describe.
Watching the snow fall from the bus window made me feel alone–not lonely, just alone. I had no one next to me to admire the beauty of the brewing snow storm and I had no phone to record the most magical night of my life.
I could do a better job of describing the blankets of snow that covered the evergreens and paved roads. I could do a better job of describing the peace I felt coupled with the silence on the bus as it was only 4 am in the morning. I could do a better job of describing the varying pace at which the snow fell as if it meant to make love to the Earth: fast and then slow and then not at all. I could do a better job of describing how much lighter I felt after watching that storm from the warmth of the bus. I could do a better job of explaining how ready I was to die that night.
But, I can’t.
I can only reminisce about the winter wonderland that made me feel closer to the Heaven I believe is right here on Earth.
When last did a natural event make you feel ready to die?
Should I define myself, I am damned to limitation.